The Wonderful World Of Odd

When the lights go out and the sappy love songs start, I know I'm in trouble. But tonight I need to wallow in what might very well be my own special brand of masochism. Why am I purposely torturing myself?

One: Because I can.

Two: Because sometimes the ability to hurt in the deepest darkest places of ourselves gives us hope; if I can hurt, I can love.

Odd? Yes. But then again, that's the name of the game, isn't it?


And what exactly am I hurting over, you ask? Why, unrequited love of course. Didn't you know? Everyone is. It's the new old fad of the 21st century. A big deep pit dug into the center of everything. And as much as I hate conforming to what's considered the 'norm' and 'usual', I just had to go and fall prey to that ugly thing called Love.

Ick.

Just saying it makes me queasy. Though... not in the 'I'm about to toss my cookies, run for cover!' kind of way. More like a very unappealing mix of anxiety, guilt, and that horrible emotion I mentioned before. You know the one. The four letter devil that starts with the letter H and ends in E. Oh come on... you're going to make me spell it out for you, aren't you? I knew it! You are! Well too bad, you can just scroll back up. (Blows a raspberry in your direction.)

Now that that tiny bit of childishness is out of the way...

Have you ever had the misfortune of liking someone the moment you laid eyes on them? It sucks. No matter how much you wish you could just shrug it off and act like any normal human being would when confronted with the simple greeting of 'Hey', you eventually end up either tripping all over yourself or turning into the poor guy/girl's worst nightmare.

I... kind of did both.

So now, not only am I labeled under the description of 'Annoying Younger Sibling', but I can't fix the situation without appearing to be even more of a spaz than I already am. It's like a time paradox. Only slightly less confusing. I think. Maybe. Oh hell...

But the worst part is yet to come. For not only do I have the bad luck of now being in love with this person... it's become the kind of love you can't possibly reason with. Total and complete unconditional love. GAH!!!

It's not romantic, or sexual, or brotherly/sisterly, or friendly, or angry, or mother/fatherly, or happy, or joy full, or sad, or envious, or greedy, or gentle, or kind, or anything else that can be listed under such conditions.

But it's also all of the above.

It's every kind of love imaginable and yet nothing that can be described by human thoughts or words. The kind of love that makes God forgive us our every fault; that moves mountains. The kind of love that eventually builds and destroys every kingdom ever seen on Earth and gently woos us to sleep in our mother's arms. The kind of love that both terrifies and intrigues us. It's what we live and die for.


I've found such a love... and now I have to live with the fact I'll never be able to tell them about it. I can't. Ever. To do so would be to forfeit whatever tiny bit of them I can actually claim for myself and only me.

Oh man... they'd freak. Or worse.

And so I'll keep my peace and continue on playing my sappy love songs. Shedding a tear or two while I sing in one heck of an off-kilter voice. (Dogs howl in the background, apparently unappreciative of my heartfelt attempt at making the world deaf.)

Yeah, I need a new hobby. So sue me.

It has recently come to my attention that no one can really be too young to get married. Sure, there's always that lovely rule of waiting until you've come of age... but how long do you wait to tie the knot afterwards?

For one of my dearest friends... not much longer.

He seriously can't be more than a year my senior, but he's already decided to sweep his highschool sweetheart off her feet and carry her up to the altar. And the best part? I get to be his best man. Take that! Like a roll reversal of 'Maid of Honor' without the secret love plot.

Hm...

Dress or tux?

Why is it that we never seem to realize just how much we're going to miss something until it's no longer there for us to miss? Good question. Too bad I don't have a good answer.

Books, books, books, books and more books.

I've had to have read at least a million books in my short lifetime: good books, bad books, funny books, sad books, freaky books, books that make you think, books that make you scream, books that twist your entire world upside down and melt your brain into a rather interesting blob of gooey goop. I've read so many that, for once, I never wanted to see a single printed word again...

Until last night.

Don't know why, how, or when, but Karma and God managed to find a way to make me miss reading.

Call it good ol' mental regression, or the effects of too much T.V. and video games, but I suddenly started talking nonsense and could nothing but think even more of it.

And so, as you've probably guessed by now (since we all know how smart you are, you genius you) I've gone back to indulging my thirst for fantasy, sci-fi, macabre, comedy, horror, non-fiction, and the ever heated romance.

Which, by the way, I've managed to find a series that incorporates all of that into one plot line. HUZAH!

Alrighty...

I'm out. Don't want me getting all personal on you now do we?

- Odd

Dear fellow inmates,

Have you ever found yourself startled awake at 12:30 A.M. on a Saturday morning? In the dark? During which time you fail to realize you're awake until you fall less than daintily from your bed amidst lots and lots of muttered curses and highly unladylike sprawling? Only to realize there was no way in hell you were going to fall asleep again despite the fact you've only had MAYBE 2 hours of rest?

No?

Really?

Huh... I guess that's just me then. Ah well, mores the pity.

But seriously, who wants to start off their achingly early morning like that? Not moi to be sure. Which is probably why I ended up grabbing a glass of strawberry milk (drink of the gods) and got on here.

Well, come on, what else was there to do? Just lay around and hope the silence doesn't drive me batty? As amusing as it would be to watch a blond try to stave off insanity, I think this suites my purposes just a weeee bit better. This way I can simultaneously annoy you while satisfying both my need for mental stimulation and the emotional call to find solace in written words. Boo-Frackin'-Yah, man.

But... now that I've gotten this far, my brain has died the horrible death of the uninspired. Blah. I'll just have to annoy you later.

Time to trade my strawberry-bliss for coffee,
-Odd